Just to lay out the practical steps we have taken for this monstrous undertaking called 'wedding planning', here are the things that Fiance and I did (reference for future brides-to-be!) :
1. Sit down together (we did it over Italian pizza 'n beer to bring some lightheartedness to it haha...) & discuss our expectations - it helps that both of us have the same wish: keeping it simple while making it a fun-filled celebration for our family and friends. Also, it helps to be in sync when we talk to our parents.. appearing as a strong team who has things under control helps manage parents' expectations too, and boy am I glad he's on my team!
2. Discuss what we think will be parents' expectations and how we can fulfill/ manage them
3. BEFORE talking to parents, consolidate how we want the receptions to be, make sure we know the procedures to be done (ROM etc). (This, I did research thoroughly) For brides, good to research a bit on the kind of wedding you want, theme, gown etc... I neglected to do it at first, mistake!
4. Research a bit about preparations & cost, e.g for us to get
married in Catholic church, we have to attend a Catholic marriage
preparation course, how much does it cost to rent the church, venues
like community club (and yes they do have to be booked 6 months to a
year beforehand, so planning now is not too early)
5. Talk to parents about their expectations and ask each of them to provide us a guest list - Everything else afterwards - venue, catering, cost etc etc - will depend on the guest lists! Furthermore... parents will start throwing in their expectations..especially the moms, I guess, this is where your research of the 'girly stuff' will come in handy.. if you can show you already have something in mind and it's meaningful and important to you, easier to manage others' expectations
6. Open a joint account to start saving for the wedding cost. We chose OCBC, as they have flexi-deposit account giving us (slightly) better interest but the deposit term in counted per month, not yearly. Plus, they are open on Sundays.
That's all for now.. Many more to come!
Showing posts with label wedding planning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding planning. Show all posts
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Clash of the 'Titans'
Movie title: The Wedding
Tentative Date of Release: 21st Sep 2013, Sat
Tentative set: Nativity Church, Singapore
Cast: FG (Future Groom a.k.a The Fiance)
FB (Future Bride a.k.a yours truly)
Mom
FMIL (Future Mom-in-Law)
Supporting Cast: Dad
FDIL (Future Dad-in-Law)
Soundtrack: 'It's Complicated' by Avril Lavigne
Alternative title: Clash of the 'Titans' ><
Coming soon provided the FG and FB is unsuccessful in their eloping attempt. (Heck, I've even given him my house key so it should be really easy!)
Hufh. Nah, it's not that bad, but as with everything in Life, we gotta take it with a pinch of humor, right? Humor aside, wedding plans really are starting to be consolidated.. and phew, let me tell you my friend, it has not been an easy ride >< (oh, wait, this is just the beginning of the ride.. huhu..)
First, we both come from diverse families.. He, a Singaporean-Chinese-Filipino. Me, Indonesian-Chinese-with-parents-from-different-provinces. And, we both agreed that our wedding will really be something to make our loved ones happy, since both of us don't actually feel that it's a big deal. (For me, the 'big day' was when he proposed..so sweetly and so privately and so funnily.. that's the one moment that I will tell my daughters and grand-daughters =D )
So, if we want to please both parents it will be something like this:
1. ROM + grand church wedding + wedding march in Filipino tradition (for FMIL - devout Filipina Catholic)
2. Chinese lunch/ dinner reception (for FDIL relatives' and colleagues who are more traditional, also for FG & FB friends and colleagues)
3. Pekanbaru (Mom's hometown) wedding banquet (Mom relatives, friends & extended family)
4. Jakarta wedding banquet (Dad relatives, friends, business associates..he has made it known that relatives alone will number around 200.. I don't know where he will procure them from >< )
5. Philippines eating & karaoke session (for FMIL relatives)
...Truly a nightmare in cost and logistics >< The thing is, we do want to make both parents happy.. They mean a lot to us, and I do really like my FMIL & FDIL, just as my Fiance get along very well with my folks. Originally, our plan was to ROM in 2013, and everything else in 2014 so we have time to plan for the logistics and save for the cost.. but complications soon arise...
FMIL: "No lah, the ROM should straight away be followed by church wedding! You should be married in the eyes of God."
(ok then, ROM + church wedding in 2013)
Dad: "Yeah, good, I support! Not right to just ROM quietly.. If Bryan wants to marry my daughter, he better be prepared to admit it to God, right? Must tie him down in HOLY MATRIMONY! That's why it's called HOLY, so he won't take a mistress! Oh by the way, you better record the vow ya.. Make sure he remember what he says to you..'
(Errrr... ok, note to self: prepare tape recorder for FG)
"By the way, daughter... since your Mom and I are more than willing to bear the cost for the Pekanbaru and Jakarta wedding... can't we have it right after the church wedding? In 2013? I mean, it's like to announce it to friends and relatives here right.. Not good for you & Bryan to live together before people know, right..."
Me: "Errr......"
That would mean my poor FDIL and his relatives will be left out until 2014! (He's a kind, more quiet man that does not want to make things complicated for us.. precisely why we really want to fulfill his wish!)
In the end, I cried on the phone and sort of threatened my Dad to just get married n everything in 2014, the key phrase being "...and then you'd have to wait longer for grandchildren..."
Dad:"Alright, alright, don't cry.. it should be a happy occassion for you.. ok, ok 2014..."
After that, my Mom called and told me about the perfect garden party she has envisioned for the Pekanbaru segment..
Mom: "Daughter! It's gonna be so cool! In Singapore you can't have this sort of thing, right? In Indonesia, we can, because we have LAND! LAND! What? You want to have it in September? Why?? Why not November??? In September our new house is not finished yet! Must finish construction of our new house to receive guest! What? It's September next year? Not this year? Ohhh.. Why so long??? Can't you ROM earlier in the year????"
>< yeah, they are in the middle of moving house...but man.. to think that my wedding date would depend on the speed of the construction!
Oh well, eventually, FMIL said it's enough to have a lunch reception after the wedding, inviting FDIL's relatives.. no need Chinese dinner. And no need to think about the Philippines. Dad & Mom said, okay, no need so grand a wedding.
Phhhhheeeeeewwwwwwww. Thing is, I've always thought as our both set of parents as quite down-to-earth and happy-go-lucky. I used to hear bits here and there about weddings nearly cancelled because one set of parents feel insulted about the other parents' action, or relatives grumbling and gossiping because they weren't given 'face'.. but I thought, "Nah, both our parents are cool and modern enough..."
Well readers, if there is one event designed to bring out the 'Titans' inside our usually easy-going parents, a wedding it is!
Wish us luck!
Tentative Date of Release: 21st Sep 2013, Sat
Tentative set: Nativity Church, Singapore
Cast: FG (Future Groom a.k.a The Fiance)
FB (Future Bride a.k.a yours truly)
Mom
FMIL (Future Mom-in-Law)
Supporting Cast: Dad
FDIL (Future Dad-in-Law)
Soundtrack: 'It's Complicated' by Avril Lavigne
Alternative title: Clash of the 'Titans' ><
Coming soon provided the FG and FB is unsuccessful in their eloping attempt. (Heck, I've even given him my house key so it should be really easy!)
Hufh. Nah, it's not that bad, but as with everything in Life, we gotta take it with a pinch of humor, right? Humor aside, wedding plans really are starting to be consolidated.. and phew, let me tell you my friend, it has not been an easy ride >< (oh, wait, this is just the beginning of the ride.. huhu..)
First, we both come from diverse families.. He, a Singaporean-Chinese-Filipino. Me, Indonesian-Chinese-with-parents-from-different-provinces. And, we both agreed that our wedding will really be something to make our loved ones happy, since both of us don't actually feel that it's a big deal. (For me, the 'big day' was when he proposed..so sweetly and so privately and so funnily.. that's the one moment that I will tell my daughters and grand-daughters =D )
So, if we want to please both parents it will be something like this:
1. ROM + grand church wedding + wedding march in Filipino tradition (for FMIL - devout Filipina Catholic)
2. Chinese lunch/ dinner reception (for FDIL relatives' and colleagues who are more traditional, also for FG & FB friends and colleagues)
3. Pekanbaru (Mom's hometown) wedding banquet (Mom relatives, friends & extended family)
4. Jakarta wedding banquet (Dad relatives, friends, business associates..he has made it known that relatives alone will number around 200.. I don't know where he will procure them from >< )
5. Philippines eating & karaoke session (for FMIL relatives)
...Truly a nightmare in cost and logistics >< The thing is, we do want to make both parents happy.. They mean a lot to us, and I do really like my FMIL & FDIL, just as my Fiance get along very well with my folks. Originally, our plan was to ROM in 2013, and everything else in 2014 so we have time to plan for the logistics and save for the cost.. but complications soon arise...
FMIL: "No lah, the ROM should straight away be followed by church wedding! You should be married in the eyes of God."
(ok then, ROM + church wedding in 2013)
Dad: "Yeah, good, I support! Not right to just ROM quietly.. If Bryan wants to marry my daughter, he better be prepared to admit it to God, right? Must tie him down in HOLY MATRIMONY! That's why it's called HOLY, so he won't take a mistress! Oh by the way, you better record the vow ya.. Make sure he remember what he says to you..'
(Errrr... ok, note to self: prepare tape recorder for FG)
"By the way, daughter... since your Mom and I are more than willing to bear the cost for the Pekanbaru and Jakarta wedding... can't we have it right after the church wedding? In 2013? I mean, it's like to announce it to friends and relatives here right.. Not good for you & Bryan to live together before people know, right..."
Me: "Errr......"
That would mean my poor FDIL and his relatives will be left out until 2014! (He's a kind, more quiet man that does not want to make things complicated for us.. precisely why we really want to fulfill his wish!)
In the end, I cried on the phone and sort of threatened my Dad to just get married n everything in 2014, the key phrase being "...and then you'd have to wait longer for grandchildren..."
Dad:"Alright, alright, don't cry.. it should be a happy occassion for you.. ok, ok 2014..."
After that, my Mom called and told me about the perfect garden party she has envisioned for the Pekanbaru segment..
Mom: "Daughter! It's gonna be so cool! In Singapore you can't have this sort of thing, right? In Indonesia, we can, because we have LAND! LAND! What? You want to have it in September? Why?? Why not November??? In September our new house is not finished yet! Must finish construction of our new house to receive guest! What? It's September next year? Not this year? Ohhh.. Why so long??? Can't you ROM earlier in the year????"
>< yeah, they are in the middle of moving house...but man.. to think that my wedding date would depend on the speed of the construction!
Oh well, eventually, FMIL said it's enough to have a lunch reception after the wedding, inviting FDIL's relatives.. no need Chinese dinner. And no need to think about the Philippines. Dad & Mom said, okay, no need so grand a wedding.
Phhhhheeeeeewwwwwwww. Thing is, I've always thought as our both set of parents as quite down-to-earth and happy-go-lucky. I used to hear bits here and there about weddings nearly cancelled because one set of parents feel insulted about the other parents' action, or relatives grumbling and gossiping because they weren't given 'face'.. but I thought, "Nah, both our parents are cool and modern enough..."
Well readers, if there is one event designed to bring out the 'Titans' inside our usually easy-going parents, a wedding it is!
Wish us luck!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
The Beginning
The Boyfriend.. has just recently proposed to me..
Now begins the real journey of learning to be a housewife!
On top of trying to be better with financial responsibilities and learning cooking, household managing, etc, now planning for the wedding has entered the picture.
Sigh.
Well, as a fuss-free person who doesn't exactly like crowds, weddings to me are really an event for our parents to show that "Hey, my kid's tying the knot!". The moment I told my dad that we're starting to plan for the wedding, he told me that he can think of 200 relatives that will be attending. What the???! Honestly, I've never even seen 100 people gather during Chinese New Year on his side >< "But your uncles! your cousins! Your cousins' children!" My mom.. was alternating between telling me, "Oh? The celebrations are in two years' time? So long!" and "You have to tell me your plans now! No time!" (She is already envisioning the perfect garden party >< )
Thankfully less complications on The Fiance's side.. the only thing being, his mom would like us to have a church wedding, and I don't mind at all.
Also, since The Fiance is half-Filipino and I am Indonesian, we are planning for three weddings in total - Singapore, my Indonesian hometown of Pekanbaru, and the Phillipines. (My parents were insisting we have to have four as most of my dad's relatives stay in a different province, but I've managed to dissuade them of that.. phew!)
The thing is, I've never thought that weddings need be grand affairs.. If anything, I thought of my 'big day' as the day my sweet fiance proposed to me, as he gave me not just one, but three(!) parts of a proposal, and involved both our parents giving us their blessings. Both of us have the same view, that weddings are more to make our parents happy and for our friends to partake in our celebrations.
The only thing I can say for sure now, is that, me being Indonesian-Chinese, and him Singaporean-Filipino, FOOD is gonna be a big part of our parties *grin* (though there are complications there also as Filipinos are big on pork and we would like to invite quite a lot of Muslim friends >< )
Ah, well.
Motto: Less Fuss More Fun.. and Bring It On!
Now begins the real journey of learning to be a housewife!
On top of trying to be better with financial responsibilities and learning cooking, household managing, etc, now planning for the wedding has entered the picture.
Sigh.
Well, as a fuss-free person who doesn't exactly like crowds, weddings to me are really an event for our parents to show that "Hey, my kid's tying the knot!". The moment I told my dad that we're starting to plan for the wedding, he told me that he can think of 200 relatives that will be attending. What the???! Honestly, I've never even seen 100 people gather during Chinese New Year on his side >< "But your uncles! your cousins! Your cousins' children!" My mom.. was alternating between telling me, "Oh? The celebrations are in two years' time? So long!" and "You have to tell me your plans now! No time!" (She is already envisioning the perfect garden party >< )
Thankfully less complications on The Fiance's side.. the only thing being, his mom would like us to have a church wedding, and I don't mind at all.
Also, since The Fiance is half-Filipino and I am Indonesian, we are planning for three weddings in total - Singapore, my Indonesian hometown of Pekanbaru, and the Phillipines. (My parents were insisting we have to have four as most of my dad's relatives stay in a different province, but I've managed to dissuade them of that.. phew!)
The thing is, I've never thought that weddings need be grand affairs.. If anything, I thought of my 'big day' as the day my sweet fiance proposed to me, as he gave me not just one, but three(!) parts of a proposal, and involved both our parents giving us their blessings. Both of us have the same view, that weddings are more to make our parents happy and for our friends to partake in our celebrations.
The only thing I can say for sure now, is that, me being Indonesian-Chinese, and him Singaporean-Filipino, FOOD is gonna be a big part of our parties *grin* (though there are complications there also as Filipinos are big on pork and we would like to invite quite a lot of Muslim friends >< )
Ah, well.
Motto: Less Fuss More Fun.. and Bring It On!
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