Preparing for a m.a.r.r.i.a.g.e

Yep, it's not just about the wedding. Heck, it's really about the years and years and years after instead of just that one day!

And somehow, there's the notion that women know what marriage is about... A quick browse of "ready to get married" yielded articles mostly directed to men.. "8 Signs You Are Ready To Be Tied Down" ('..you no longer find the prospect of one-night-stands that exciting...'), "Top 10 Signs You're Ready To Pop The Question" ('..you love her quirks..') etc. Well, may I confess that as a girl/woman, I know nuts about marriage. I've found 'The One', yes, but what makes me think I'm ready for marriage?

After more searching, found this good article on some parameters whether we ladies are ready for marriage... Here goes my soul searching!



Important thing in marriage numero uno:  Know your needs and expectations

What do I need to be happy in a marriage? Can he make me happy?
 This sounds shallow and selfish but I believe the basis for a woman in marriage is knowing she is happy with her guy just the way he is. My fiance once asked me whether I'm sure I want to marry  him, now, as he feels he isn't doing so well career/financial wise compared to his peers. The thing is, he gives me what I believe I need to have a great marriage:

- emotional security - he has won my trust over and over again, and is available for me even when one of us is overseas, very busy with work, out with friends etc etc. He makes me feel assured and secure in his commitment to me.

- helpfulness & sense of responsibility. he does chores around his house - seriously I am raised as an Indonesian spoilt brat whose saving grace is I like to cook >< My fiance often (if not always) does the dishes after I cook, help with technical glitches around the house, help his mom with laundry & cleaning, etc. It makes me feel less scared of the responsibility of managing a household in marriage. More importantly, it makes me treasure and respect him very much. I'd take him over an Indonesian rich boy who is useless around the house any day.

- I believe he will be a good dad - Don't ask me how I know, it's more of a gut feeling for now.. but yeah, this is an important criteria to me.

- excitement - I shamelessly admit I am very afraid of boredom, and one of my greatest fears in a relationship was, "What if I become bored of being in a relationship with him?" I couldn't say that I will not feel bored ever in the marriage I'm about to enter, but I can say I have communicated this need to him and we have been through some rough patches when I felt our time together getting monotonous and he was willing to put in time and effort to put the spark back into our relationship.
(I'm emotionally high-maintenance that way, yes I know)

- he puts my happiness as top priority - and this is priceless. It shows in things like always offering me the best bites of food, to letting me set the pace in the relationship.

And so, he may not shower me with diamonds and pearls but he has the things I believe will make me happy in a marriage. What about you? What do you think will make your marriage work? Does he fulfill it?