He's The One

When I told my good friends I am engaged (excuse for multiple eat-out-good-food sessions!), more than one asked, "Hey.. you've been with Bryan for some time.. and both very happy/have a great relationship/looks sweet together,etc.. but still, how do you know he's 'THE ONE'?"

Hm... truthfully, I don't actually believe in the concept of 'The One' as a soulmate (see my writing here, long long ago!).. then again, I think in Singapore where a nosedive-ing birth rate clearly corresponds to much less people getting married, my friends' question is more like, "How do you know he's the one person you wanna spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFE with???"

Here's my answer to my friends:

I'm pretty sure he's the one I wanna spend the rest of my life with, because:
1. We communicate well. I hate it when people shout during arguments, so does he. Through the arguments we've had, I find he has the 'cool head' and loads of patience, while I have the penchant for analysing things and laying out clearly what's the problem (granted, sometimes this stage only happens after crying in front of him, but at least, it does happen). I think we are able to keep focus that it is not about blaming the other person, but resolving the problem. We worked out a system where we'll ask, "So, on the scale of 1 to 10, how much do I screw up?" "On the scale of 1 to 10, how much are you hurt?" When he thought he'd hurt me at '4' and I say '7', that's an eye opener and a start point. And believe it or not, our most effective method is to 'talk' by email haha.. that way, I can organize my thoughts succinctly and he doesn't have to see me cry a river! This compatibility makes me feel, whatever comes our way we have a chance to work it out well and learn.

2. He has character traits I really respect, and a personality I love. Honesty, down-to-earthness, purpose (Including telling me day one of the relationship that he has marriage in mind.. he's got guts!) .  I can see him as a husband and dad I will respect (On his side, he once told me that I'm someone he can see himself coming home to). Cliche, but oh so true.

3. He has a positive "no-attitude" kind of attitude that I really appreciate, for example during our backpacking trips when things go wrong. Being stuck hours on a steaming hot train was a chance to play word games. Getting lost in the Tokyo metro was an adventure. Having to sleep in the airport felt like a camping outing. Maybe it's the 'can-do' spirit his Filipina mom imparted on him, but I can see myself facing the worst life has to offer with this guy by my side. (Incidentally, travelling rough 'n cheap is a great way to test a mate, I feel. If he/she is a complain machine when the sun's too hot or the hostel room's rather dirty, what will his/her reaction be when you lose your job? Can you imagine that partner standing by you and comforting you?)

4. We have quite some similar interests, and lots of mutual friends. Eating. Watching Running Man. Sleeping late on Saturdays. Joking around. Exploring the city. Trekking. Capoeira.  When we spend time doing those things, both of us feel very happy and enjoy each other's company. Here's a another oh-so-true cliche, I can't imagine marrying someone who doesn't feel like a best friend, or at the very least, a great friend. Mutual friends, meanwhile, allow us both to hang out with great people without feeling, "Ah these are his friends, not mine," vice versa. That's really lucky, in my view.

5. He treats me well. By this, I don't mean pearls and diamonds (though, my boyfriend does flowers and chocolates quite well ;p ), but that he's proven time and again he accepts me the way I am, (Action more important than words!) and he was there during difficult moments - waiting to see me 11pm outside my office to hug me during crazy periods at work, comforting me during disappointments, showing concern for cramps during 'that time of the month'. He  was there even when the difficult moments were between us. (Girls, appreciate it BIG TIME if you're being upset with your boyfriend but he still provides his shoulders for you to cry on. It's ego-crushingly painful for a guy to see you cry when he feel he's at fault, so if he's still there seeing you cry and even comforts you, he cares more about you than his ego. Go and marry him ). He also consistently texts me and always reply my texts, which makes me feel he is responsible and dependable.

So you have it, my basic 'criterias' to determine if he's the one hahaha.. Well there are lots of other things - his creative romanticism, his *ahem* tan bod, his cute sulking face - but let the main things, be the main things, y'know?

=)