The Cost of Getting Married in Singapore

....a topic that, unfortunately, is very close to my heart these days.

Technically, couples need $26 for the Registry of Marriage and ta-dah, you're husband and wife! Of course, that's not usually the case. There's the wedding party, the flowers, the gown, the studio photoshoot, the wedding favors... etc etc etc.. The way things are usually done in Singapore.

I'm not saying, Singaporean wedding culture has so many superfluous things. Heck, Indonesian Chinese wedding extravaganzas are in a class of their own, complete with overseas photoshoots, tables at posh hotels, even a hired transvestite thrown in as entertainment. (and they're damn talented!) It's just that, man, these superfluous things cost so much more in Singapore!



The mentality then becomes, "It's ok lah, spend more since it's a once in a lifetime thing.. can recoup at least 60% of the cost from angpows." And what follows is an expectation, to 'earn' from the wedding instead of making it all about celebrating your union with people you care about. Even if the money is subtly referred to as 'love offering'... well.. some ugly situations can arise, like a bride who confronted her friend who didn't give an angpao.. or even having an 'angpao market rate'. Then we have guests who come with a sour face because by coming they then have to fork out money for ang pow, or even bridal couples who invite people just to 'fill in tables' since otherwise they will 'make a loss'.

Bleah. Honestly, if the cost is worth it (sadaharu aoki macarons for everyone!), then yeah, I relent.. but it does make me wonder why all that moolah is mostly spent in having boring, if posh, receptions.. eating so-so food amidst beautiful, yes, but forgettable settings. The last thing I want is to turn my wedding day into a farce of commercial venture, where people come to 'give us face' but don't feel a sense of joy and sincere celebration. (A good post by a fellow blogger on the sad state of chinese banquets in Singapore )

To this end, both my fiance and I are actually quite envious of Malay weddings in void decks.. It seems they forgo the posh settings for the two things that matter: food and people. We tried to have a simple community which was deterred by the fact that community club bookings cannot really be confirmed until close to the wedding day.. and even then when the community have events, say a minister wants to line dance with the common folks, well yo're bumped off from the list!

Fuh. It's true though that the mentality is changing.. parents don't demand such long list of invites, and young couples at the other extreme think, "Screw the wedding! Let's just spend on an awesome honeymoon! Only for both of us!"

Luckily we didn't think that way otherwise our parents would disown us, I think. Take the case of my BFF, and Indonesian guy who planned to have an 80 people wedding in Bali, as opposed to his parents' 4000 people guests wish! He fought hard, yeah, but still said he's considering having 2 receptions to appease the parents.

Throughout this gruelling (yes it is!) process of wedding planning, I keep reminding myself of some things:
1. We want our guests to have fun and enjoy the day as much as us (how I wish I can just charter a plane and fly the guest list to my hometown for cheap but oh-so-awesome food!) Hate the thought of most wedding food being expensive and so-so.
2. Planning the wedding ourselves train us to be a team though there are some tense moments and we walk in the delicate balance between having full control of events and safeguarding our parents' feelings
3. it is a happy occassion =)

For now, the planning continues!