Saturday, August 17, 2013

Post wedding reflection

Being a bride-to-be... is, IMHO, one of the most stressful times of a woman's life >< That's also why I stopped blogging as the wedding day gets closer - thinking about one aspect of the wedding would set me off to think about all the other aspects not done yet and induce more stress. Not to mention, juggling work & wedding planning doesn't exactly leave time for blogging.

But! All's been done! And strangely it is now that I have a strong urge to blog about things so brides-to-be still in the midst of full on planning would benefit from it. Especially, those who doesn't have a wedding planner! ><

Firstly, keep in mind: All these will pass! And if you're doing this practically yourself, without a planner, the sense of achievement & ego boost in the end is pretty huge ;p

However, during the wedding planning itself, for me it was a lot of intense, shifting emotions, namely:

1. Alternating between wanting to celebrate with family, friends and looking forward to it, and really, really wishing with my whole heart to just sign the marriage registry and elope
2. Alternating between wanting to 'do things right' considering what parents would want and guests' pleasure, and 'dammit i don't care about the details, there's just too much, let's just do the minimum required' feeling
3. Alternating between thinking 'Oh, my fiance is so patient with me when often stress makes me breakdown and cry, when I disagree with him or his family' , and 'My fiance is not doing enough to help! No wonder I'm so stressed!'
4. Initially feeling 'Oh wow, my dress/ shoes/ make up trial/ jewellery is perfect' and 'Oh no, my dress/shoes/make up/ jewellery is too bling/ too much/ too uncomfortable/ too weird'.
5. Initially feeling, 'Nah we don't want a videographer, that will just be too much,' and then, just 2 days before wedding day, 'Oh gawd, read in a lot of forums that one of brides' biggest regrests is not hiring videographer! I gotta get one quick!'
6. Alternating between wanting the wedding day to come fast, and feeling like you need so much more time & wishing you'd have a few months' longer to do all these... 'why oh why did I choose middle of the year and not year end...'
7. At first thinking ,' planning is so much fun!' but fast forward a few months when it is crazy busy at work and more n more decisions need to be made on the wedding and I was thinking 'what the ^&^&%%* I didn't know planning just 1 day would take so ^%$^* much time and effort!!'
8. Of course, all these sentiments about the wedding is dwarfed by one overwhelming feeling... each time your groom-to-be does something thoughtless/ selfish, you'd scrutinize it with the magnifying glass of: "Is this it? This is really the man I'm gonna choose to spend the rest of my life with?" And damn, that is one magnifying glass powerful enough to bring on the doom & gloom ><

Feh.. depressing huh? Remember: All these will pass! Also, tips from my experience:
1. Make sure that, each time there is an argument during the wedding planning process, communicate, communicate, be cool headed with each other.. the goal is to look back and say, 'Yeah, those times were rife with strife, but we also got to know each other even deeper, learned how to work things out, and came out a stronger team.'
2. Really, keep the wedding guests list as small as you can (and even then we have 290 ppl ><), mainly comprising of those you really care about.. because then you won't be 'heart-pain' about all the time, effort and money you spent..
3. Do something you can afford. In Sg context this means don't depend on angpao/ cash gifts to cover the banquet.  Even with the knowledge that we are prepared for 100% loss and if need be we have savings enough to cover the cost albeit having to 'tighten belt', the money stress was really felt at times 

In the end, our wedding day really felt like a celebration of people who come because they are happy for us, and our friends truly gave generously, whether it be their help, their time, their effort and wedding gifts.. So much, so much goodwill and sincerity and in the end, the memories I have from my wedding day are how my husband & I worked through all the differences and financial matters and came out sure that we want to spend the rest of our lives together, and the happiness to share this with people who care about us, culminating in one awesome day of lots of laughs, lots of 'makan', lots of blessings, and lots of happy tears..

It is damn worth it =)


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