Breakdown of the Bride

Well, I did break down at different points of the wedding planning stage >< If you are a bride-to-be, just tell yourself that this is normal.... Wedding planning is such a roller-coaster of feelings!

In this post, I'd like to literally break down my feelings from the beginning to the process to the moments just before the wedding.. Brace yourself, readers!

10 - 9 months before wedding - just after proposal
Blissful feeling of 'Ah, the wedding's still a long way..more than enough time..'. Sparkle hypnosis induced by staring at engagement ring throughout the day. Browsing the internet for pretty wedding decor photos naively unaware of how much they cost. Finally started looking at Sg bridal magazines and got rude shock at how ridiculously bridal paraphernalias are!



8 months before wedding
Firming up plans. Started to have little disagreements with mom & MIL. Started trying on dresses. Got frustrated at not finding dress despite trying on so many. Started trying to think of ways to save $$$ rather than nice decor. However, still playing around with theme and concepts of wedding decor. Cannot even decide color, too many choices. Started researching venues and visiting sites. Luckily jobless as have free time for all these.

7 months before wedding
Could not decide on theme. Still could not decide on colors. Torn between 2 venues that seemed good deals. Finally steeled self and commit to venue. Found out about credit cash rebate and regret not applying for credit card sooner. Finally commit to dress. Parents sulked as no 'guo-da-li'. (bethrotal rituals). Don't care. Started FB group to invite people. Headache over who to invite, who not-to, plus Fiance wanted to invite so many people. Don't even ask about parents. At least managed to find comfy dance shoes for wedding shoes.

6 months before wedding
Still keep looking at venues to assure self what I've chosen was best. First gown fitting - wowed by dress. Started asking friends to be in bridal party. Nervous as starting to have sense of what an undertaking a wedding is (but still naive at the actual sheer amount of effort needed >< ). Started work, yay! Second make-up trial. Well, not 'love love' it but better than first.

5 months before wedding
Started designing invitations & table mats, stationeries. Went for first make up trial. Hated it. Started dreading wedding day as afraid would look like tranvestie barbie  with triple fake lashes. Juggling wedding planning with work was miserable. Had to visit florist late at night. Started researching on photographers and finally booked one.

4 months before wedding
Went for Catholic marriage counseling (Engagement Encounter). Argument with Fiance over infant baptism. (No need lah!). Resolved argument. Started getting back florist quotations. Dammit so expensive >< If only I could I'd do my own flowers. 2nd fitting of dress with parents flying in to Sg. Mom said dress not bling enough. While they were here, had huge argument on guest list - parents fighting for tables. Fiance + MIL also wanted more tables. Sulked and had my way. (Am the wedding planner, hah!). Finally finished design of merchandise. Had no weekends since either work or wedding planning.

3 months before wedding
Wonderful friends agreeing to help & be in bridal party. Second thoughts on dress. (Too bling? after alterations by tailor) Second thoughts on shoes. (Too plain?) Second thoughts on make up artist. Had second thoughts on..Fiance >< (Taking me too much for granted?)

2 months before wedding
Started using face products on legs as realised must expose legs on wedding day. (Short dress!) Started thinking what to do with nail, hair, brows on wedding day. Second thought on not hiring pro MC. Found & hired pro-MC, and changed make up artist. Went for third make up trial. Love love love it! Huge relief. Frustrated as wedding program keep changing. Frantically started mailing invitations and hoping not too late. Dropped a lot of details, e.g. wanting to serve snacks from Indonesia during cocktail, as OVERWHELMED and CANNOT BE BOTHERED! Cried. A lot.

1 month before wedding
 Starting to not be able to concentrate at work. Starting to be reluctant to go for any socialising. Most of the time glued to either laptop/ note book working out wedding program & details. Still mailing invitations. Pissed at the slightest suggestion regarding wedding whether from parents/ in-laws. Went down to bridal boutique nervously feeling I would hate the dress but upon seeing it, fell in love with dress all over again. (Short wedding dress looks so nice! So light and airy!)

2 weeks before wedding
Brain kept thinking of wedding details to the point of difficulty sleeping & focusing at work. ('I wonder if so&so has received the invitation, so&so has just cancelled, when will my parents arrive, when to schedule church rehearsal, do we need church rehearsal, do we really need 2 buses or should I cancel one, etc etc etc). On the other hand, felt that major items were taken care of so started putting in back smaller details, e.g snack from Indo. Getting more nervous. Huge misunderstanding with parents-in-law, partly due to Fiance's fault. More second thoughts on Fiance. Cautioned him to treat me extra nice from now on till wedding as could not take more pressure. (Lucky for him that he complied!)

1 week before wedding
VERY frustrated that program is still changing. VERY irritated at the slightest of suggestions ><
Guest list still changing - last minute confirmations and cancellations.

3 days before wedding
Finished all the DIYs! Yay! Super happy that friends started arriving from various countries, people I love and have not seen for years. Sad and guilty that last minute wedding details took so much time and could not spend time with friends. Changed mind about not hiring videographer. Freaked out whether would be able to find videographer 2 days before wedding. Luckily did. Phew.

Day before wedding
Took care of various logistics in the morning. Packed up stuff and checked in to bridal suite at hotel. Bridal suite was wow-some! Thinking, 'Getting married is so fun!'. MC briefing. Finalised selection of songs. Interrupted at various points by texts from friends, parents, relatives. 9pm and tasks had not finished. 'Getting married is so much hassle!' Still, saw light at the end of tunnel. Retired alone to hotel room at 10pm. Determined to sleep so as not to be the 'bride with the eyebags'. Failed. Still awake at 2AM.

Actual day
This is it!!! Woken up at 4AM by head bridesmaid as make up artist arrived in hotel room. Still sleepy at first..washed face, sat sleepily at chair, gradually became so alert & awake due to adrenaline and bestest friends arriving in hotel room. Lots of excitement. Saw the most good lookin' version of me my entire life in the mirror. 'Woah!' Some glitches like parents arrived late >< However, determined to be 'calm bride'. The whole day passed really, really fast! Just remembered moments from here and there... Remembered that I laughed a lot and was just so, so happy.. Was originally skeptical of the cliche, 'wedding day is the happiest day of your life' but in the end, it certainly was one of the happiest days in mine!

*to be continued..what happened after actual day*